Reflect Relentlessly

One of the biggest lies we tell ourselves is that tomorrow we'll magically feel much better than we do today. Perhaps today we feel drained. Perhaps we didn't sleep well the night before or that the meetings at work were particularly stressful or our favorite sports team lost. And so, we think, today, let's just relax. Tomorrow I will get this done. Tomorrow, I'll have the energy and motivation. Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you, tomorrow, you're only a day away. (To be fair we only think of this last line if we're big fans of Annie .) Nine times out of ten that's just not true. You will feel the same tomorrow. And the day after. If you're not up for doing it now, you might never be up for doing it.   You'll just keep putting it off until it's too late. So today is the day you should do that thing. As the Roman poet Horace said, carpe diem, motherfucker . (Or something like that.) The important thing to remember is that motivation doesn't matter...

I got a medallion recently with the words "Amor Fati" engraved on it. It's Latin for "a love of fate." On the other side it says, "Not merely to bear what is necessary, still less conceal it... but love it." It is a nice physical reminder of my new attitude toward life, which is one of acceptance. Acceptance of what life has in store for me. Acceptance of the world as it is, and of other people as they are. And acceptance of myself -- my faults and imperfections; my stress and anxiety; my grief and guilt; my love and hope. Things cannot be any different than they are. Is this fate; is everything predestined? Are we not in control -- do our actions not matter? Of course, our actions matter. Every action we take creates a branch in reality -- a particular universe in the infinite multiverse. (Yes, I think the universe -- the multiverse -- works exactly as described in  Everything Everywhere All at Once.)  We choose the reality we live in with our actions...

It is ironic that as I'm about to write a post on the dangers of overthinking I'm spending much too long pondering the title and the best way to start. It's a great way to not get a post published this week either. But I'd rather get something subpar out than nothing at all. Umm, I mean, this post is a great work of literature which is well worth your time and money. (Don't worry about the money part for now. That's a problem for the future you.) Do Newton's laws of motion explain human nature as well as they explain the physical universe? I think they do. "Every action has an equal and opposite reaction" is fairly self-evident. Reciprocity is the basis for many a human interaction. Through human history we have made laws to mete out equal punishment for crimes. Hammurabi's code demanded an eye for an eye. Selena Gomez wants us to kill [our detractors] with kindness (even if they don't die they'll be hella confused). Secretary of State ...

Humans are complex is such a trite statement. Then why do we struggle to come to terms with this simple fact? Words and actions often contradict each other; there should be nothing surprising about that. Yet these contradictions upset us.  Hypocrite , we like to triumphantly label whenever we see such a contradiction. But who among us is not guilty of being one? Exhibit A: yours truly. I claim to be a long-term thinker and planner. I was making plans for applying to colleges in the U.S. before I even finished tenth grade -- in fact, probably a lot earlier. I sacrificed having a social life in college because I was working hard for a well-paying job after graduating (I will maintain that this was entirely by choice and not because no one invited me to any parties anyway. I got invited to lots of very cool and happening parties, thank you very much). One of my favorite adages to share with others is "If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room," ...

 If I ever end up writing a book, I hope it reads like Humor, Seriously , which covers one of my favorite topics -- humor -- in a fittingly hilarious way.  To be honest, when I started reading it, I wasn't sold immediately. I was concerned that it might be one of those books that ends up overstating its case. All non-fiction books run this risk. And I don't think the writers intentionally try to mislead their readers; what I think happens is that when you spend a large chunk of your time looking at life through a particular lens, you start to believe that that is how life works. For example, in  Range, the author, expounding his theory of why people should pursue a wide variety of interests, is dismissive   of the notion of sticking with things even if you don't enjoy it. But if you don't show such grit, and always move on whenever something starts to bore you, will you ever become good at anything? (As noted in Atomic Habits and Grit , the most successful peopl...

The process of good writing involves a lot of rewriting. Sentences never come out right the first time, or the second, or even the third for that matter. (Don't take my word for it; there's a great recent article in The Economist talking about this.) The best writers, then, are the ones who spend a lot of time and effort polishing what they produce. Of course, with time and effort, the words flow more naturally, and perhaps fewer iterations are required. But even the best writers will struggle to get the words down sometimes. (Just ask GRRM.) How does one become a better writer? Reading and absorbing the books recommended by The Economist is definitely not a bad idea, and something I hope I can get myself to do at some point (I'll add it to the list of things I hope to get to someday! Also on that list: learning to play the ukulele, performing stand-up in front of a crowd, and skiing down black diamonds). But perhaps a simpler way is to do what's recommended in Atomic ...