Everyone's a hypocrite

Humans are complex is such a trite statement. Then why do we struggle to come to terms with this simple fact? Words and actions often contradict each other; there should be nothing surprising about that. Yet these contradictions upset us. Hypocrite, we like to triumphantly label whenever we see such a contradiction. But who among us is not guilty of being one?

Exhibit A: yours truly. I claim to be a long-term thinker and planner. I was making plans for applying to colleges in the U.S. before I even finished tenth grade -- in fact, probably a lot earlier. I sacrificed having a social life in college because I was working hard for a well-paying job after graduating (I will maintain that this was entirely by choice and not because no one invited me to any parties anyway. I got invited to lots of very cool and happening parties, thank you very much). One of my favorite adages to share with others is "If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room," because I have the ingrained belief that you have to constantly keep learning and growing to make sure you are better off in the future than you are now.

Yet I constantly lose sight of the long term. I was embarrassingly upset about a promotion that I felt was delayed by a year -- but why does that matter over a 40-year career? I quit learning French after a year and a half because I felt that I wasn't learning enough. Why did I not consider that it can take decades of learning a language to become fluent? I have lost count of how many times I started and then quit running regularly because I felt that I wasn't gaining stamina fast enough. But a few days of training will never help you run a marathon. It might take years.

I can claim to be a long-term thinker yet make many short-sighted decisions. I might extol patience as the greatest virtue but show very little of it when I should. I might hold myself and others to high moral standards yet not hesitate to spin a web of lies to protect myself. I am... complicated. I am a hypocrite. We all are. As The Economist notes in a recent article, humans may want to improve the world, but also want their own swimming pool. We may want to mentor the disadvantaged but also see our rivals fail miserably. What else can you expect from beings who can hold two completely contradictory beliefs in their heads and believe them both to be true?

But while hypocrisy can be explained by human nature, we cannot use that as an excuse to behave poorly. If you're charged with a crime you can hardly get away with a defense of "humans are complex, your honor" (but now I am curious whether people have tried). We can and should always strive to be better. Perhaps, though, we should be more understanding when we see others fail to practice what they preach. 

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